A Hint of Sugar, Spice, and Rice
by manga4life
Summary: Follow the Yorozuya through their misadventures as they struggle to pay the rent, escape the authorities, do their job and see just how far they're willing to go for a bowl of sugar, spice and rice. HijixGin COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Gintama belongs to Sorachi Hideaki

ENJOY!

* * *

People throughout Edo are preparing for the upcoming festival celebration of Setsubun, or the seasonal division in which people cleanse away all the evil of the former new year. Despite the hustle and bustle throughout the city, the gentle breeze combined with clear skies make for a peaceful atmosphere here in Japan, though there are some who would claim otherwise...

_CLASH!_

"KAGURA-CHAN!"

Kagura ran in between the table and the couch in an attempt to get away from Shinpachi and make off with the pot of miso soup. Shinpachi was so focused on catching Kagura that he failed to notice the edge of the low table and avoid falling flat on his face.

_Shimura Shinpachi: 16 yrs. old. Works under Gintoki to learn the ways of the samurai. Although usually quiet, he can be pretty hot-blooded at times._

Kagura took advantage of his situation and took the time to engorge her stolen prize.

_Kagura: 14 yrs. old. Member of the Yato clan. She may look cute and innocent but she has inhumman strength and a sharp tongue._

Shinpachi quickly jumped up and leapt over the couch. Kagura took a step back to avoid being caught but tripped over Sadaharu who was lying on the floor behind her.

"Oi oi oi, where's my chocolate pudding?"

Kagura landed on top of Sadaharu, eyes watching as the pot flew through the air and into Gintoki's face. The pot slid to the floor revealing silver hair and a face covered in miso soup.

_Sakata Gintoki: Known for his natural perm, love of sweet things, and lazy attitude. His eyes are often compared to those of a dead fish, but during times of crisis they shine like a true samurai._

_Together they are Ginchan's Yorozuya._

A Hint of Sugar, Spice, and Rice

"Oi what's with all the noise, some of us are actually working down here." All three heads turned towards the front door.

"Gomen Otose-san, Kagura-chan was being difficult, ne Gin-san?" Shinpachi turned to see Kagura on the floor, licking what was left inside of the pot. Shinpachi heard the sound of shuffling coming from Kagura's closet. Shinpachi opened the closet door and found Gintoki hunched in the small space.

"Gin-san, what are you doing?"

"Okaa-san, I keep seeing a demon that looks like an old woman, make her go away." Shinapchi stared at his boss for a long moment wondering how someone like him could even be called a samurai. He slammed the closet door shut, turned towards a seething landlady and said, "I'm afraid Gin-san is unable to pay the rent this week, gomen."

"AAAARGH! After I'm done with that useless man the rent won't be the only thing he'll have to worry about!"

"Gin-san!" Shinpachi turned to see an empty closet and Gintoki's figure retreating out the window.

Gintoki landed next to his scooter in the alleyway. Quickly making sure his helment was secure he sped off to buy his JUMP."As if I'll let that old woman get in the way of buying JUMP. But to think I'm still reading JUMP at this age, although I am still a child at heart. Perhaps this is a sign to quit JUMP for good." Completely ignoring his train of thought Gintoki sped up not wanting to risk finding a store that was sold out.

* * *

"HI-JI-KATA-SAN, time for our afternoon patrol."

Okita's sing-songy tone of voice aggravated him to no end. _'Damnit. I haven't got one wink of sleep because of his constant attempts to try and do me in."_ Hijikata growled in frustration.

"You know, you should lighten up a bit Toshi. We wouldn't want you to die from high blood pressure."

"OKITAAAA!!"

* * *

"Ugh.. that was the third store that was sold out. What has the world come to that it cannot keep one issue of JUMP in stock? Surely this is the fate of all who carry the burden of having naturally permed hair." Gintoki started his scooter and sped off more eager than ever to return home with an issue of JUMP in his hand.

"Mommy, Captain High Pants!" The frantic child tugged on his mother's kimono in order to grab her attention.

"Mommy!"

"Not now sweety, mommy is talking."

"But-"

"Not now Tohru."

Frustrated, the little boy let go of his mother's kimono and ran into the street to retrieve his action figure.

"-but if JUMP went on sale next week I cou- YAAAAAAAHH!!"

"Tohru!!"

Gintoki swirved his scooter to the right to avoid hitting the boy. He turned to see the boy being cradled by his mother as she carried him back to the safe side of the street.

"Children are as about as much trouble as a vending machine with a broken coin slot."

Gintoki turned back around and saw man on a scooter coming towards him.

"YAAAAAAAHH!" _CRASH!_

Gintoki lied there staring at the sky wondering if he should have just gave Otose all the money he had in his pocket, stayed home and watched the cute news reporter. He eventually lifted himself up to survey the damage. His scooter was completely destroyed. _'If I keep this up Ji-san is going to start charging me for fixing this.'_ He saw that the man he had hit was still unconcious. The man had dark green hair and he wore a tradtional Japanese kimono which was now stained with red due to the pool of blood that spilled from his head. Next to him was what looked like a guitar case. Gintoki saw a card lying next to him and picked it up.

**Shinto Sagura,**

**We, the head organizers for this year's Setsubun, send this invitation to ask you and your band to be the main entertaiment at tomorrow's festival. If you are unable to attend for whatever reason please contact this number...**

The card slowly fell to the ground. Gintoki knelt down beside the man and began shaking him. _'He's not dead, he's not dead. Okaa-san help me find a time machine to take me back to the good ol' days when you made meat buns from scratch.'_

"Mmnnn" Gintoki instantly recovered from his momentary breakdown when he felt the "dead man" shift in his arms.

"Oi. Oi." Gintoki gently shook the man to prevent him from going back to sleep.

"Ngh, what happened..I.." The man tried to shift his body and felt a searing pain travel through his arm. "aaah!"

"Hmm it seem your arm is broken". _'Oh no how's he going to play.'_

"No..I-I can't...I need to play tomorrow."

"Can't you get someone else to fill in for you?"

"I'm the lead guitarist..it would take too much time." Gintoki was now sweating profusely, unaware that his contorted face of despair was slightly frightening the man next to him.

"Um are you alri-"

"Odd Jobs Gin"

"Huh?"

"I am odd jobs Gin and I will solve any problems you may have."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"You are looking at your replacement for tomorrow's festival."

* * *

I have no idea where I am going with this story, but I'm having a lot of fun writing it.  
Please comment. Suggestions are welcome.

thanx 4 reading


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Gintama belongs to (drumroll please...) Sorachi Hideaki

ENJOY

* * *

Shinto sat in the waiting room, holding a small carton of milk. He was waiting for the nurse to come in and confirm that it was ok for him to leave. During his small amount of time here, he had been held hostage by a runaway patient, mistaken for a girl by a perverted old man and chased down by raving fangirls who had recognized him from his band's first perfromance in Okinawa. But despite all the chaos he was able to get a cast for his arm and make it out in one piece. He took a sip of the strawberry milk Gintoki had offered him after some crazy speech about how milk drinkers shall rule the world. Looking around the room, Shinto wondered where Gintoki could be.

* * *

"Oi, Ji-san the tv won't work. I'm missing my 4 o' clock soap." Gintoki continued to hit the tv as the picture tuned in and out.

Genka examined his handiwork and put the finishing touches on the scooter. "It seems every time I get around to fixin' this thing, you return it to me in pieces, and now you have the nerve to ask me to fix this guy's scooter. What's the guy's name again? Shinpo was it?"

"It's Shiro."

"Whatever, I dont have time for this, especially with the festival beginning tomorrow!"

"Ji-san, you should really think about getting a new satelite dish." Gintoki leaned over the tv to try and adjust the antennas.

"Are you even listening to me!" Genka turned around and gave the scooter one last look over. "Your scooter is ready to go. I'll try and have this other guy's scooter fixed by tomorrow, but no promises though, ya hear!"

Gintoki left the antennas where they were and walked to over to his scooter. "Arigato, Ji-san."

"Yeah, yeah." Genka waved his hand dismissively and walked back into the garage.

Gintoki put on his helmet and set off towards the hospital to pick up Shinto.

* * *

"So can you really fill in for me? You don't seem like a musician to me."

"It's the hair isnt it?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand the complexities of a natural perm."

"Wha-nevermind. Do you even know how to play an instrument?"

"Don't worry, once during a school talent show I played 5 verses of "One winged Angel" using a stir staw with holes."

"A STIR STRAW! How does that automatically make you a musician? Are you going to play a stir straw at tomorrow's festival?" 'Of all the people I had to run into, why did it have to be this guy?'

"We're here." Shinto snapped out of his thoughts and looked around the area. "And where exactly are we?"

"Otose's snack house. The building above it is where I stay." Gintoki set his helmet on the seat of the scooter and proceeded to the front of the building. As they reached the end of the alleyway, Gintoki turned to Shinto and whispered, "Listen, there is a demon that lives here. We must be quiet so that we do not disturb it."

"What are you talking abo-"

"SHHHHHHH!!"

"You're the one making the most noise! Rambling about some demon. Who coul-" The door next to them opened. Gintoki attempted to run but Otose grabbed his collar and pulled him onto a headlock. She looked at Shinto and asked, "who might you be?"

"I-I'm Sagura, Shinto sagura?!"

"And what brings you to my front door?" When Otose felt Gintoki's grip slacken she released him. She ignored him as he struggled to catch his breath.

"I'm here with him." Shinto pointed to Gintoki. "He has volunteered to help me with a problem."

"One that he undoubtedley caused." Otose watched Gintoki get back on his feet.

"Well, I'm sorta at fault as well..."

"GIN-CHAN!!"

Shinto looked up to see a girl with pink hair and a pink kimono standing on the balcony. "Gin-chan, Shinpachi ate all the rice balls again."

A boy with black hair and glasses came running out soon after. "How can you even say that when you clearly have pieces of rice still stuck to your face!"

"Ugh, I haven't had sugar for more than 6 hrs now, AAND I don't have my weekly issue of JUMP." Gintoki barely kept his frustraion in check as he continued."This is our client Shiro Sagura-

"IT'S SHINTO, SHINTO SAGURA YOU MORON!"

"We shall do our best to help him." Kagura leaned over towards Shinpachi and whispered, "When has Gin-chan ever took a job seriously?"

"Must be the lack of sugar."

"He will give you all the details while I go and look for an issue of JUMP. Gintoki secured his helmet and took off down the steets.

"Wha-WAIT!! You can't just leave me here with these crazy people!"

Shinto was hit in the face with a purple umbrella and a wooden sandal. Blood spurted from his nose as he fell to the ground. Otose let her cigarette fall to the ground next to the unconcious man and stomped out the small flame before returning inside.

* * *

Gintoki parked in front of a small shop. _'For Kami's sake this is the 4th shop today.'_ Gintoki went inside. Frustrated and sugarless, he wanted to get in and out as fast as possible with an issue of JUMP. Blinded by his obsession, he failed to notice what was happening around him.

"EVERYONE GET DOWN TH-THIS IS A ROBBERY!" A purple amanto stood in the center of the store wearing a large overcoat and black shades. He had 4 tentacles, 3 of which were wrapped around customers preventing them from escaping. The 4th tentacle held a gun which was pointed at the cashier. Other customers were lying on the ground, or hidden behind aisles. All heads turned towards the figure standing in the doorway. Gintoki strode towards the counter and asked the frightened cashier for an issue of JUMP.

"Um-m-m Sir do you reali-"

"YOU! DON"T U SEE I HAVE A GUN! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR. HEY, I'M TALKING TO YO- AAAH!"

Gintoki hit the man across the head, knocking him to the ground, unconcious. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST WAIT YOUR TURN LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?!"

He turned back towards the cashier and showed her the change in his hand. "Look I have the money for it."

The silence lasted for about a minute before the people began to get up and cheer for their oblivious hero.

"Y-y-yes sir! Ri-ight away sir!" Gintoki handed the cashier his change, but she shook her head. "You can have it for free!"

"Wow, I must have been the 100th customer or something...no wonder that guy was so mad."

* * *

Hijikata and Okita arrived just in time. During their patrol, Kondo imformed them that there was a robbery taking place in a small shop. When they got out of the car, Okita handed Hijikata the megaphone.

"Shinsengumi! Surrender now and come out quietly!"

A few other members of the Shinsengumi who had also recieved the tip arrived at the store soon after them.

"Vice-Captain we came as soon as we heard!"

"LOOK!" One of the men pointed towards the door. Gintoki walked out of the store followed by the cheers of the customers inside.

"It's you!?"

Gintoki looked up from his Jump for a moment and saw the Shinsengumi staring at him with surprised faces.

"Don't tell me you were the one who stopped the robber!?"

"Hm, robber? What robber?" Gintoki lazily drawled out as he began to pick his nose. He focused his deadpan eyes on Hijikata.

"Don't play stupid how could you possibly miss him!"

"Vice-Captain!" A young man came running out of the store wearing a Prince of Tennis uniform.

"Yamazaki?! What are you doing here?"

Yamazaki asked some of the men to go inside the store and retrieve the body.

"Well, Kondo-san, asked me if I could go to the store and pick up some toilet paper and then, when I went up to the counter I was grabbed from behind. Next thing I know I was caught up in the whole robbery situation."

Hijkata began to pummel Yamazaki "How can you say it like you just had some walk in the park?! Why did you let your guard down?! Even when you're in a convenience store you're still representing the Shinsengumi!"

"Sir, please!" Yamazaki attempted to crawl away but Hijikata caught him by the back of his collar.

"Vice-Captain, we have him!" They brought out the unconcious body of the robber.

"Hmmm, so you really did get him," asked Okita.

"And why do you sound so disappointed?!" Hijikata turned to Okita with an annoyed expression and saw a black notebook in his hands. "What is-"

**Hijikata Toshi**

**Dies in 6 seconds from bullet wound.**

Hijikata looked at the cover of the book. "DEATH NOTE!" Just as Hijikata was about to attack, Okita pointed to Gintoki. "Look he's trying to escape."

Hijikata turned to see Gintoki put his JUMP within in the folds of his kimono and put on his helmet.

"Not so fast!" Hijikata grabbed Gintoki by the arm to prevent him for getting on his scooter. "We can't return without a report on what happened here, so spill."

"Oi, oi just because you guys aren't doing your job doesn't mean I should be punished." Gintoki struggled to get out of Hijikata's grasp.

Hijikata was about to retort when Okita cut in. "Will you tell us for a chocolate parfait?"

Hijikata turned to Okta with an annoyed expression. "If you think im goi-"

"Deal."

* * *

Hijikata found himself in an ice cream shop surrounded by happy couples and liitle kids excitedly talking about the upcoming festival. He looked at the bubbly waitress with deep resentment as she set the desserts on the table and left.

"Hijikata-san, are you sure you do not want anything, especially since you're paying?"

"I didn't agree to that!"

"Well I figured since I came up with the idea the least you could do is pay."

"What kinda messed up logic is that?!"

Okita turned to look out the window. Hijikata turned towards Gintoki with a heavy sigh, and watched him as he devoured his parfait. He couldn't help but notice how his usually dead fish eyes shimmered with happiness, or how cute he looked with fudge and ice cream on his face. Hijikata stopped his train of thought before it led him any further. _'I have to get out of this place if he wanted to keep my sanity.'_

"Ok, so tell us what happened"

* * *

Gintoki let out a relieved sigh when he finally reached his front door. As he reached for the handle, the door quickly opened revealing Kagura and Shinpachi.

"Gin-chan, is it true we're going to be the main entertainment at tomorrow's festival?"

"Oh hey, you finally returned." Shinto appeared behind them with Sadaharu latched onto his head. His face was covered in blood, but he continued on as if nothing was the matter. "I called the band and told them what happened. They are staying at a place near here, but I figured I'd stay and help you guys prepare for tomorrow."

"Oiiiii your face is covered in blood! Kagura do something about him!" Shinpachi looked at Kagura and pointed at Sadaharu.

"Shin-chan, Sadaharu is just being affectionate, aren't you boy?" Shinpanchi tried to pull Shinto's head out of Sadaharu's mouth.

Gintoki headed towards the living room and laid down on the couch. A few seconds later Kagura bounced into the living room. "Gin-chan we need to think of a name for our band." Shinpachi and Shinto entered the livng room and sat down on the couch.

Gintoki's eyes stared blankly at the ceiling. His chest was slowy rising and falling.

"Gin-chan?" They all stared at him for several seconds before Shinpachi spoke up. "Gin-san?"

Kagura poked Gintoki's head and Shinto decided to say something. "Sakata-san?"

The sound of light snoring echoed throughout the walls.

"GIN-SAN!!"

* * *

I kinda don't like the way this chapter turned out but it's not all that bad. I feel the ending was a bit abrupt but I couldn't think of anything else. I have a pretty good idea about what I'm going to do for the next chapter, but i don't think ill be writing that for a while.  
muchos luv to those who reviewed and read my story. THANX! hope you enjoyed


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Gintama belongs to Hideaki Sorachi

* * *

The streets were filled with humans and amanto who have begun to take part in the various festivies. Today is the festival and our heroes are preparing for the big part they are going to play in it.

**11:00 AM**

"Rock! Paper! Scissors!"

"Ha!"

After many arguments, and failed attempts at rock, paper, scisscors, the group finally decided on a name. Kagura held up a sign that read: Kintama.

"NO!" Gintoki and Shinpachi smacked Kagura on the head. Gintoki picked up the sign, turned it over and began to scribble madly. "Tada!" "Gintama."

"Are you sure it's okay to use the title of the show as the name of our band? We can't have people thinking Gintama is about some rookie jrock band." Gintoki whipped out an issue of Gintama volume one.

"It will be fine if they just read the summary on the back: Nobody with naturally wavy hair can be that bad."

"HOW DOES THAT EXPLAIN ANYTHING!!"

Shinto entered the living room. "I found a pretty large area where you guys can practice. Are you done choosing a name?" Gintoki held up the sign. Shinto leaned towards the sign, trying to decipher the sloppy handwriting.

"Kintama!?"

"No it's Gintama, Gintama!!" Gintok pulled at his hair in frustration.

Shinpachi just shook his head. "Gin-san, why don't we just change the name."

"How many times do I have to come up here and tell you to keep it down? For someone who can't pay the rent you sure are drawing alot of attention to yourself." They all turned and saw Otose.

Gintoki leaned down and whispered something to Kagura. Kagura nodded and ran into the kitchen and came out with a pot of rice. They both threw rice at Otose while chanting, "Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!!"

"WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK YOUR DOING?!" Shnpachi yelled.

"Gin-chan says it's customary to throw soybeans at someone wearing a demon mask to drive away the evil sprirts in the home, but we don't have any beans. Kagura turned to Gintoki. Gin-chan are you sure this will work?" Kagura began to eat out of the large pot of rice.

Gintoki rubbed his chin."Hmm, maybe it doesn't work with rice."

"YAAAAARRRRGGG!!" Purple chakra surrounded Otose. A beam of energy shot from her forhead, and the shop erupted into a large exlosion.

* * *

Inside a condemned warehouse the sound of construction echoed throughout the walls. Two shadows could bee seen in the corner of the warehouse.

"Is this satisfactory?"

"Yes, it will serve greatly in my plans to create a ew Edo. No longer shall I co-exist with these amanto scum. I SHALL EXTERMINTATE THEM ALL!! MWA HA HA HA HA! MWA HA HA HA HA!"

* * *

**11:30 AM**

We find our heroes in a small area under the Japan-Brigde practicing for their upcoming performance.

Shinto looked over the checklist."Okay, now that everything is set up we can get going. Let's see...technically the festival has already started, but performances don't begin til 5 o' clock giving us plenty of time to practice. Besides at this time everyone's probably visiting the Meiji-jingu shrine, ne?" Shinto read through the list of performers. "It seems you guys will be performing last, right afterrr...Otsu-san? Hey! isn't she-" Shinto looked up an saw Gintoki and Kagura fearfully looking at Shinpachi as he stood motionless, eyes shadowed by his hair.

"Um, is there something wrong?"

Shinpachi looked up and threw a fist in the air. "OTSUU!! YOU HAVE GIVEN ME-NO! THE WORLD THE OPPORTUNITY TO HEAR YOUR INSPIRING VOICE!! AND NOW I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE CHANCE TO DO THE SAME FOR YOU!" Shinpachi took hold of the microphone and began to sing. "CHOME! CHOMEEEEEEE! CHOME! CHOMEEEEEE!"

Shinto quickly covered his ears in an attempt to drown out the paniful schreeching. "Wha-What is this?!" Shinto saw Gintoki heading towards the other microphone.

Gintoki took hold of the mic and began to sing as well. "M-I-L-K drink a carton everyday! M-I-L-"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"I'm cancelling out his voice with my own."

"YOURE ONLY MAKNG THE SITUATION WORSE!"

Kagura pulled at Shinpachi's shirt in order to get his attention. "Shin-chan it's my turn to use the microphone."

Shinto sweatdropped. "This is gonna take forever."

* * *

**4:00 PM**

Kagura looked around, excitedly watching crowds pass by and kids play games at the colorful stands. "Oooo look at all the food. Do you smell that? I'm going to eat to my heart's content. uh huh, uh huh."

"Kagura-chan wait up!" Kagura ran to the nearest food stand followed by Shinpachi.

Shinto turned towards Gintoki. "Sakata-san, I am going to sign you guys in, feel free to enjoy the festival but be at the stadium by at least 5 o' clock. Shinto waved a quick goodbye and headed towards the stadium. Gintoki went to the food stand and saw Kagura order several bowls of rice and dumplings.

"Kagura! Come on we can't stay here!" Shinpachi grabbed Kagura's arm to pull her away from the booth. As Shinapchi dragged her away, Kagura continued to stuff her face, a bowl of rice in one hand, a dumpling in the other. Gintoki watched the whole scene with a bored expression, and was about to follow them when someone grabbed the back of his collar.

"Hold on that comes to a total of 35 dollars." Gintoki placed something on the counter and took off. The owner looked at the counter and saw two coupons for toilet paper.

* * *

Okita read through the list of events. "Hey Hijikata-san, according to this the Yorozuya are suppose to be performing."

"Huh?" Okita handed him the list.

"Hijikata! Okita!" Kondo-san ran towards them.

"Hai, Kondo-san."

"I informed all the men of their positions. No slacking off you guys, this is a special event, we have to be alert. Kondo looked around the area. Hmm...I wonder where Yamazaki is with those dumplings."

"Captain!" Yamazaki came running towards them with a box of dumplings in his hands. "I'm so sorry captain." He took a moment to catch his breath. "The lines were very long."

"Yamazaki, just in time!" They all grabbed a dumpling out of the box. After Hijikata grabbed his dumpling he looked at Yamazaki expectantly.

"Where's the mayonnaise?"

Yamazaki instantly went pale. "I-it would seem in my rush to get back I sort of f-f-forgot."

"Yaaa-mazaki. Yamaki noticed the insane look in Hijikata's eyes and saw him place his hand on the hilt of his sword. Yamazaki took off before he could pull it out of his sheathe and Hijikata took after him while wildly swinging his sword.

* * *

Gintoki found Kagura playing a game at one of the stands. He grabbed her by the collar in order to get her attention.

"Oi! You owe me two coupons." Kagura pulled on a strand of hair that hung in his face. "Ow! ow! ow!"

"Will you two please. We should really start heading to the stadium." Shinpachi pointed to the large crowds heading to the staduim.

"Shin-chan?"Shinpachi went stiff when he heard the voice behind him. Gintoki and Kagura stopped fighting and looked up to see who it was.

"Boss!"

"Si-sis!" Shinpachi turned around to greet his sister.

"Shin-chan, I haven't heard from you for almost two days."

"Sis I-I can explain." Shinpachi held up hands and took step back.

"WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE DOING THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN COMING HOME AND SEEING YOUR SISTER!" Otae pummeled Shinapachi with her shopping bag. "IS THIS THE APPRECIATION I GET! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS CALL!" After she was satisfied she straightened out her kimono and smile innocently. She faced Kagura and Gintoki completely ignoring Shinpachi's bloody form laying on the ground.

"As much as I'd love to stay and talk, I have to visit the shrine before it gets to be too late. I hope you guys enjoy the festival." Ja!"

Gintoki sweatdropped and Kagura watched Otae leave with admiration shining in her eyes."Boss is so cool!"

* * *

Hello this is Ketsuno Ana, reporting what's happening here today at the festival. As you can see many people are enjoying the various festivities. Let's interview someone shall we. She looked around and noticed a couple walking past.

"Excuse me would you two take some time to answer some questions for us?"

"Hai."

"What brings you to the festival today?"

"Umm..me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 months, and it just so happens today is our anniversery."

"Oh how nice, and are you guys enjoying the festival."

""Yeah it's great, we are heading over to the stadium now to get some good seats."

"Well thank you for your time."

"Gin-chan look! It's the reporter lady from the tv!" Kagura ran towards the camera and began to wave. "Okaasan!!"

* * *

**Otose's snack house**

"Otose-san look!" Catherine pointed to the tv screen.

"What is it Catherine." Otose handed the man at the counter his drink and headed over to the television.

"It's Kagura-chan."

"What are those idiots doing?"

* * *

"It seems we have some volunteers. How are you three enjoying the festival?"

"Its great, although we don't have much time. We have to get ready for our performance tonight." Shinpachi spoke as Gintoki and Kagura made faces at the camera.

"wow! So you guys are performers for tonights' festival. We look foward to seeing you on stage. Well as you guys can see, the festival is the number one place to be right now. We shall have more after these messages."

"Come on you guys we can't keep getting distracted or we'll never get there on time." Shinpachi turned and saw them trying on masks that looked like ogres and demons. "Gin-chan look at this!" Kagura put on a mask and and pretended to be a demon. "GRRRRRR!" Gintoki blew a party horn that shot confetti while chanting.

"ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING?!"

"PLUSHIES, GET YOUR ELIZABETH PLUSHIES HERE!"

"Huh?" Two stalls down they saw Katsura in his pirate disguise, selling Elizabeth plushies. Elizabeth stood in front of the stall holding up a sign that READ: Buy one get, get one half off.

"Zura?!"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura!"

"How can you have the nerve to show your face out here when the Shinsengumi are all over the place."

"Those fools won't be able to recognize me when I'm wearing this perfect disguise. PLUSHIE, GET YOUR ELIZABETH PLUSHIES HERE!"

"Katsura-san, why are selling these things?" Shinpachi picked up a plushie and analyzed it.

"It helps to have money when trying to start a revolution. Would you like to buy a plushie? Ill give you guys a special offer.

"Sorry, but we have to go. We have to get to the stadium."

"The stadium? Isn't that where bands and pop artists are going to be performing. Gintoki I didn't think you cared for that type of music. Perhaps you have become more of a child than I previously thought. Have those gray hairs of your enouraged this regression." Gintoki smacked Katsura on the head.

"THEY'RE SILVER, SILVER!!"

"Actually we are a replacement for one of the performers who couldn't play."

"Hmmm I see, well I wish you well."

"Arigato." Sinpachi bowed in a gesture of thanks and headed towards the stadium. Seeing Shinapchi leave, Kagura put down the plushie and followed him. Gintoki was about to follow when he heard Katsura speak.

"Gintoki you should be alert, I heard rumor of a "disturbance" supposedly taking place during the festival."

"Is that so...well then we shall see won't we, Zura. Ja."

"Its not Zura, It's Katsura!"

* * *

**4:55 PM**

"Finally, we made it." Many people were entering the stadium although some stood outside, passing time as they waited for the peformances to start.

"Shinpachi!!" A boy stood at the entrance of the stadium wearing a the Otsuu Imperial guard uniform. "Captain! There you are. All the men are in place waiting for your instructions." Shinpachi put a hand on his shoulder.

"I need you to take over."

"But captain-"

"You can do it. You are a member of Otsu's imperial guard fan club, and I want you to let eveyone in that stadium know."

"Captain... _sob_...I shall do my best!"

Gintoki and Kagra turned away from them and whispered to eachother. "Ya know we could always find another straightman to replace him."

* * *

**5:00pm**

"I am Haruna Takashi, one of the members directing this year's setsubun. I will be your annoucer this evening and I say let's start this new year off with a big bang!!" The audience erupted into loud cheers.

Shinto knocked on the dressing room doors. "Hey Sakata-san, Shinpachi are you ready yet?"

Gintoki came out of the dressing room first. Gintoki wore a black suit similiar to that of a host. His hair was gelled up and he wore a white headband with black letters that read: Jump Addicts Unite!

"At what point in this chapter did you get those clothes?!"

Shinpachi came out soon after wearing a white t-shirt with Otsu's face on it and blue jeans.

Shinto sweatdropped. "Wha?"

"You guys ready!" Kagura appeared in the doorway. She wore a school uniform and glasses with swirly lenses (note: similar to the outfit she wears in Gintama highschool).

Shinto paled. "Oh God."

"Yorozuya?" Hasesgawa appeared in the hallway wearing a janitor uniform.

"Hasegawa-san? What are you doing here?," asked Shinpachi.

"I'm working here as a janitor. What's with the clothes? Decided to go for a new look?"

"We are going to be performing."

"Is that so." He turned to look at Gintoki. "I didn't know you were a musician?"

"Hasegawa! Have you cleaned out those restrooms like I told you to!"

"Have to go, see you guys later."

Shinto turned towards the three. "Well, I guess we should go see whose performing first."

* * *

**6:45 PM**

"IS EVERYONE ENJOYING THE FESTIVAL!" The crowd cheered. "OKAY! WE ARE NOW DOWN TO OUR 4TH PERFORMANCE! UP NEXT WE HAVE YOUR FAVORITE POP SINGER OTSUUU!"

The groups headed backstage and saw Otsu's mother. "Terakado-san!"

"What are you guys doing here, I won't have you guys disturbing Otsu's performance. It's not everday she gets to perform for a special event such as this."

"We're going be performing as well. We're filling in for someone else."

"Hmm I see. I take it they are the replacement for you and your band am I right, Shinto Sagura."

"Do you know him Terakado-san?," asked Shinpachi.

"Well as Otsu's manager I have to know who her competition is. To be the best you must know your enemy and their weaknesses."

Shinto sweatdropped. "I didn't think I was considered such a threat."

_BOOM!_

"What was that!"

Gintoki ran through the curtains to see what was going on. After regaining their footing, Kagura and Shinpachi soon followed. "Sagura-san stay here and watch Mrs. Terakado!", yelled Shinpachi.

Shinpachi loked around the stadium and saw a large hole in the wall. "Gin-san, how are we suppose to get out of the stadium with all these people running around." Shinpachi helped Otsu-san off the stage floor.

"There is an emergency exit backstage. You guys can go through there," said Otsuu.

Ginoki and Kagura returned backstage, and Shinpachi turned to Otsuu."Will you be fine by yourself?"

"It's okay I'm going to stay with my mother." Shinpachi ran after Gintoki and Kagura.

* * *

"You filthy goverment dogs, what do you think you can do against the latest technology. BEHOLD! A metal-based lifeform equipped with a wind-up motor, snap-together limbs, and an impenetrable cannon. The Bio Tyranno!! (note: from Zoids Genesis) I HAD IT BUILT TO EXTERMINATE AMANTO AND THOSE LIKE YOU WHO ARE WILLING TO CO-EXIST WITH THOSE SCUM.

"Enough of this crap, get the cannons ready. On my signal, fire the cannons." Hijikata ordered.

Okita aimed his canon behind Hijkata's head. _BOOM!_ Hijikata managed to duck just in time."YAAHH! Sougo! What are you doing?!"

"Well, you said fire the cannons. I can't help it if your not paying attention, Hijikata-san."

"Why you-"

"WHAT IS THAT!!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Ooooo it's so big I shall call it Saduharu Jr." Kagura stared at the robot with admiration.

"WHY ARE YOU NAMING IT!?"

"Yorozuya?! Why are you here? As you can see we have the situation under control. Shinsengumi! cannons ready, FIRE!"

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_...after the dust cleared, the zoid appeared through the smoke of dust unharmed.

"I SHALL CREATE A REVOLUTION WITH THIS POWER! HA HA HA HA!"

The zoid shot justaways out of the large cannon its back. The Zoid moved foward, causing destruction along the path it walked on.

_BOOM! BOOM!_

The Yorozuya and the Shinsengumi ran while avoiding the exploding justaways. Kagrau raised her umbrella and shot bullets at the head.

"Ha ha, as if those puny bullets could penetrate this armor."

Kagura stopped and lifted the umbrella once more. A large ball of energy formed at the tip of the umbrella. She shot the zoid once more and left a huge dent in the chest.

"Why you insolent child! TAKE THIS!" similiar to Kagura's umbrella, a large ball of energy formed at the tip of the cannon. Gintoki stopped running and turned towards the large zoid. He ran towards the cannon as the ball of energy grew larger and larger. Gintoki jumped up and sliced through the cannon with his wooden sword.

"Impossible!"

The large cannon exploded and Shinpachi used his wooden sword to tip the Zoid over at his feet. When the zoid fell to the ground, Kagura leaped up and fired several rounds of bullets from above.

"Look!" A shadow was seen behind the dust, crawling out of the busted zoid.

"Shinsengumi! Arrest him!" The rebel quickly ran with the Shinsengumi following in his tracks.

"Hijikata-san what should we do about the damage? Should we call the festival off?" asked Yamazaki.

Hijikata turned towards Gintoki. "Well, there is still one performance left..."

* * *

"This is Ketsuno Ana, coming back to you after that huge disturbance. We are here inside the stadium and it seems our heroic rookies will still be performing. Listen to that crowd!"

The Yorozuya played the opening theme of Gintama:

Let's go out! open my mind let's go! sweet dream other side ima tokihanatsu kago no soto e sabitsuita kagi nariyamanu kodou

kizuiteta "mou... modorenai"

ushinawareta hibi ga (Hey baby why?) aoku tsunagatteku(I want to cry...) kowagaru jibun

ni maketakunai yo unmei kara nigenai "hitori janai"

soba ni iru tatoe donna ni kanashii yume da toshitemo kamawanai kimi no namida

ni furetai yo... baby I pray... "shinjite" tsumetai kioku no yami kirisaite

kizutsuita hane yasumaseru izumi tobikomu sube ga wakaranakute

taikutsu na bashou iradachi ya fuan bokura wa kyou mo nayamu kedo

kurai sora wo miage (Baby... for you) susumu kao wo agete

(I'm here for you) akunaki omoi wo kaban ni tsumete fumidasu kokoro no yami wo furiharai

semeru ame no oto kanashiku naru nara yasashii kimi tate ni naru shinjiru koto

wo yamenaide always I pray... sono me ni chiisana kiseki wo utsushite misete

ah... ah... ah... ah...

(Hey baby why?... I want to cry... Hey baby why? Hey baby why?... I want to cry...

I'm here for you... yeah...! Believe yourself) soba ni iru soko ga donna ni kanashii yume no naka de mo

kamawanai onaji toki wo ikiteitai with U... I pray... "kotaete" moshi yurusareru nara kimi no namida ni

furetai yo...Baby...I pray shinjite Tsumetai kioku no yami kirisaite

la la la...la la la...la la la

ah...

* * *

Most people went home soon after the performance, although some stayed to take part in whatever festivities were still standing.

"The objective is to get the ball into the clown's mouth before it closes." The owner pointed to the clown painted on the back of the wooden stand. The mouth opened and closed as it laughed tauntingly. Okita threw the ball and it slowly sailed through the air towards the clown's open mouth. Just as it was about to go inside, the mouth closed and the ball fell to the ground. Kagura snickered.

"Hmmm so close. Would you like to try again?", asked the owner. Okita pulled out his bazooka and aimed it at the laughing clown.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"That's not fair it's my turn!" Kagura grabbed a ball from the bucket and aimed it at the clown's mouth. "YAAAAHH!" The balls flew into the clown's closed mouth and straight through a the wall leaving a hole in the wall where the clown's teeth should have been. "YATTA! I won!"

"How did you win, you broke the thing. Jeez just because you can't beat me didn't mean you had to break it."

"WILL YOU TWO STOP FIGHTING!" Shinapachi tried to get them to stop while the shop owner cowered in the corner of his stand.

"I told you NO, buy your own." Hijikata said as he tried to push Gintoki away.

"Aw come on, I pretty much did your guys' job for you. I just want one. You bought a whole box of dumplings didn't you?"

"No one asked for your help, we could have taken care of it ourselves."

"That's really big talk for some who looked like he was going to piss his pants any second." Gintoki attempted to reach over and grab a dumpling out of the box.

"Bastard, don't mistake your situation for mine." Hijikata moved the box out of his reach and took the last one out of the box. Hijikata opened his bottle of mayonaise and poured it on the dumpling. Gintoki watched in horror as the mayo formed a perfect swirl on top of the dumpling. A waterfall of tears formed as he crouched in a dark corner overcome by devastation.

"Hijikata-san." Okita walked up to them. "It's time to go."

"Here." Hijikata offered Ginoki a small box. Gintoki looked up in surprise.

"Well are you gonna take it or not?"

Gintoki looked at the box cautiously before reaching to take it. Hijikata turned around only to be hit on the head with the hilt of a sword.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Hijikata glared at Okita.

"That was unexpected coming from you. I thought surely a spirit or something must have taken over. I don't have any soybeans with me so I used the hilt of my sword.

"I'm more worried about what you'd do to me than the spirit!"

Gintoki watched them leave and then looked down at the small box in his hands. Inside was a dumpling.

"Gin-chan!"

"Gin-san!"

Gintoki saw Kagura, Shinpachi, and Shinto running towards him. "Well Sakata-san I have to say, that was quite impressive. You guys would make a pretty sweet band. I hope next time we'll meet under better circumstances. Here I want to give you guys this as a show of thanks. Ja!" Shinto waved and left. Shinpachi and Kagura waved goodbye, while Ginoki ate the dumpling and watched him leave.

"What do you think it is?" Kagura asked.

"Open it."

Kagura began to open it and Shinpachi and Gintoki watched, eyes intently focused on the box. Inside was 3 tickets to Okinawa, Japan.

* * *

I guess our o-so-cool heroes shall be causing trouble in Okinawa lol I think this chap. turned out pretty well-I didn't mean to make the Shinsengumi seem so weak but honestly I don't think they could have really done much in that situation but they make for good comic relief. The ideas for the outfits came from a picture in the 4th ending theme and for those who don't know Shinpachi is captain of Otsu's fan club-Otsu is a famous pop star in Gintama blah blah blah- just thought I'd mention that b/c I didn't think I made that clear during the dialogue in front of the stadium.

bows down and worships reviewers THANX!!-hope you enjoyed


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I think we get the idea...

Enjoy!

* * *

Inside the barracks, we find the Shinsengumi called together for an important meeting.

"We have an important mission that requires the upmost attention!" The men kept talking and Okita continued to sleep. Hijikata calmly sat next to Kondo as he waited for him to give him the signal. Kondo took a moment to try and calm himself until a group of men started to sing.

"I SAID-" Another group of men burst into loud laughter.

"Hijikata."

Hijikata finished lighting his cigarette, whipped out a large cannon and ajusted it to the right setting.

Several minutes later, the men sat in an organized fashion with scorched skin and clothing as they focused their attention on Kondo.

"Now that I have your attention let me fill you in on today's assignment. The prince from the planet Zuran will be arriving at the terminal this afternoon. His father owns a company that does major international trade with Japan. We must escort him until all trade is complete and make sure no harm comes to him.

* * *

_"Hello this is Ketsuno Ano, here to bring news about the prince's arrival."_

"Look Gin-chan!" Kagura pointed to the prince on the tv.

"Kami, not another one."

"Ohayo." Gintoki and Kagura turned and saw Shinapchi enter the living room with his luggage. "Sorry I would have been here sooner but sis wasn't too happy about me leaving on such short notice. Shinpachi set his luggage on the floor and sat on the couch while Kagura and Gintoki finished packing. "I hope you guys brought some snacks, cause I'm stuck with burn't eggs."

"Oi. I hope you didn't plan on leaving before saying good-bye." Otosan and Catherine entered carrying a couple of bento boxes. "We went to the store and picked up some lunch."

"Food!" Kagura took the boxes and started stuffing her face.

"Kagura! That food is for the trip!" Sinpachi tried to pull the boxes out of her hands.

_sigh_ "I don't know how you manage to take care of this liitle disposal when you can barely feed yourself properly. Forget about this month's rent, but don't think you're getting out of the next one! Enjoy your trip and don't do anything stupid." Otose turned towards Catherine. "Come on Catherine, with these idiots gone consider this our mini vacation." Unseen by Otose, Gintoki gave her a small smile.

"Well that was a lucky break, ne Gin-san?"

"Hai." Gintoki grabbed his bags from the table. "Let's go."

"Hey Kagura, what did you do with Sadaharu?", asked Shinpachi.

"GINTOKI!" The Yorozuya took off down the stairs as they watched Catherine try to pull Otose's head out of Sauharu's mouth. "Get back here you deliquents!"

* * *

The terminal was crowded due to people who were returning home after the new year celebration. Security guards were positioned all around because of the prince's arrival. The yorozuya headed through the security check.

_Beep Beep_ Shinpachi and Kagura watched with bored expressions as Gintoki argued with the the security lady about lettng him through.

"Yorozuya?" Shinpachi and Kagura turned around and saw Okita.

"Okita? What are you doing here?", asked Shinpachi.

"We have orders from the higher ups to baby-sit the spoiled prince." He pointed to the large crowd behind him. Kondo was trying to entertain the prince although the prince made no response. "Apparently they don't trust the local police department to do the job alone. Anyway why are you here? When you guys show up that usually means something bad has happened."

Shinpachi sweatdropped."Well, a friend gave us three tickets to Okinawa." Gintoki walked over towards the group and Okita turned to him. "Okiniawa huh?"

"Okita get your lazy butt over here!" Hijikata came towards them and gave Okita a piercing glare before turning his attenttion to Gintoki and co. "Yorozuya what the hell are you doing here? No one is in the mood to deal with you. We have more than enough trouble on our hands." Hijikata lifted another cigarette towards his mouth and sent a sharp glare towards the prince.

"Hijikata-san, the Yorozuya are going to Okinawa."

Hijikata looked at Gintoki and smirked. "I say good riddance."

Gintoki grinned and turned towards Kagura. "Someone's mad that no one will be here to do their job for them." Kagura imitated Gintoki's expression. "Yeah what losers, it's so obvious they can't do anything without us."

"What was that!" Hijikata lunged foward and grabbed Gintoki by the collar. His heart melted just a little when he looked at Gintoki's stupid grin. _'I swear this man is nothing more than a child.'_ Hijikata took the time to analyze his features more closely. Silver locks framed his face and he resisted the urge to run his hands through them. His dull red eyes stood out against his soft pale skin. His eyes soon fell upon his lips and lingered for a moment before looking back into his ruby depths. They held a hint of confusion and something else he couldn't quite name, but before he could think on it further Okita's voice interrupted him.

"Hijkata-san?"

Hijikata quickly let go of his collar and walked back towards the large crowd."The sooner you guys are gone the less trouble there will be around here." He ignored the little voice in his head that told him otherwise.

"Sayonara Yorozuya." Okita turned and followed Hijikata.

Kagura stuck her tongue out at him as he left and Shinpachi looked up to see Gintoki staring ahead with a blank expression. "Gin-san our flight leaves soon." Gintoki was jolted out of his thoughts when Shinpachi spoke up. They checked out their luggage and just as they were about to head towards their flight...

Gin-san!! Gintoki froze knowing very well who that voice belonged to. As if in slow motion, Sa-chan ran towards him waving her arm. Sa-chan attached herself to his neck. "Take me with you my love! Let us run away together to a far away land where our love can blossom and we can start our life anew!"

"WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT!!" Gintoki struggled to tear her off his neck.

Shinpachi panicked when he noticed all the people staring, and Kagura grabbed Sa-chan by her scarf to try and pull her off.

After one last pull Gintoki detatched her and dropped her to the ground. Sa-chan slowly sat up from her position on the floor. She looked up at him with admiration and love. "Oh Gin-san you're so rough. I don't know how I'll be able to go on without your harsh words. How can you just leave behind all the wonderful moments we've created together."

"WHAT LIES ARE YOU SPOUTING OFF NOW!"

Sa-chan grabbed onto his leg. "How can you be so cruel my love. I get it. You're trying to torture me and get me to beg aren't you!" While Sa-chan contined to babble on, Kagura ang Gintokit stomped on her. "GET OFF OF ME!" Shinpachi tried to block the scene and get people to move on. "Eh...nothing to see here." he said with a strained smile.

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_ The terminal shook and the people panicked .

"Shinsengumi be on your guard!" ordered Hijikata.

The prince in his panicked state tried to find the nearest exit. "You must be out of your mind I"m getting out of here!"

"Wait! Come Back!" Kondo ran after him.

A wire from above latched onto the prince and trapped him in a large elastic net. The wire retracted and the prince was pulled up towards a large hole in the terminal that was created during the explosion.

"Gin-san look!" Shinpachi pointed to a man standing in the center of the hole.

The masked felon gathered up the prince and turned towards a getaway car hovering a few feet away from him.The prince struggled in his bindings and the masked felon pushed him into the car.

"Shinsengumi after him!" They ran outside and saw that the getaway car had already taken off. They got in their police cars and trailed after them.

"Come on!" Gin-san ran to find stairs that would lead to the roof of the terminal.

One of the security guards caught sight of three shadows heading towards the stairs and followed. The Yorozuya arrived at the top of the terminal and saw they car had already taken off.

"Hey you guys, stop right there!" The Yorozuya turned to see a policeman holding a gun. "We're taking you down to the station for some questioning."

* * *

"Look I'm telling you we have nothing to do with it!" Shinpachi tried to explain.

Another policeman entered the room. "Sir you have a call in your office." The man at his desk sighed and got up from his chair. "This isn't over." Gintoki leaned back in his chair with a bored expression and Shinpachi had his head on his desk in despair.

"Gin-san do you think the shinsengumi caught the guy?" asked Shinpachi.

"Who knows?"

Shinapchi raised his head, angry at his boss' nonchalant attitude. "well, What about our flight?!"

"Don't get your crotch stuck in a zipper. After that disturbace I'm sure the terminal will be closed for a while."

_"Are we rolling? Hello everybody this is Ketsuno Ana again."_ The yorozuya turned towards the small tv in the corner of the office._ The terminal is up and running and all flights are still in progress since it seems no major damage was done during the disturbance. Many flights are leaving during their scheduled time, others may be a little late. The flight schedule is listed below:"_

**_Okinawa: depature is in 30 minutes._**

"GAH!" Their faces became contorted and a shadow of doom hung above their heads. They jumped from their chairs and and ran out the door.

"Gin-san, we'll never make it!"

The policeman came out of his office and just as he was about to shut the door and head back down to futher interrogate the susptects, he saw them speeding down the hallway with several policeman on their trail. "HEY STOP RIGHT THERE!"

They bursted through the sliding doors. "If we weren't in a hurry I'd piss on their wall!" yelled Gintoki .

"DON'T GIVE THEM ANOTHER REASON TO COME AFTER US!"

A few minutes later they heard a police car. "I SAID STOP!"

"Gin-san, we can't outrun a poilce car!" Shinpachi stopped talking when he noticed the odd gleam in Gintoki's eye.

* * *

YAHHHHHHHHHHH!! Kagura manueverd through alleyways, running over boxes and trashcans as she struggled to get control of the steerting wheel.

"WHY WOULD YOU STEAL A POLICE CAR AND WHY IS KAGURA DRIVING!"

MWA HA HA HA HA! Kagura laughed insanely as she bogarded her way through the alleway. A woman appeared at the end of the alleyway and stood frozen in shock from the oncoming car.

YAAAAAAAH!!

Gintoki pulled a lever that caused the car the lift up into the sky. Kagura maneuvered through the cars that were driving in the opposite direction.

"KAGURA YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE!!"

"WATCH OUT!!"

A car was heading towards them followed by several police cars and inside were the masked felons and the prince. Kagura didn't have enough time to fully avoid the collision both cars were thrown off course. Gintoki and Shinpachi grabbed onto the steering wheel to try and help Kagura get control of the car. With all the pressure, the steering wheel snapped off.

YAHHHHHHHH!!

"Hijikata-san, I think that was the Yorozuya." They turned around and watched as the car in front of them swirve out of control. "Should we do something. The prince is still in the car you know."

"Too late now." Hijikata lit a cigarette as he watched the car go down.

_Meanwhile with the Yorozuya_

YAHHHH!!

The police car fell towards the terminal building. "Look the hole from earlier!" Shinpachi pointed out. The car fell through and hit the floor. They jumped out of the car as it skidded along the ground.

AHHHHHHHH!! People ran in all directions trying to avoid the out of control car. An announcement was made that flights to Okinawa depart in 5 minutes.

Shinpachi took out the tickets and looked for their flight number."Sub-terminal number...3!!" They ran towards the attendent just as she was about to close the door. "WAIT!! " The attendant turned and saw a guy with silver hair, a boy with glasses and a little chinese girl running towards her at an alarming speed followed by several security guards.

"WHA?!" The trio ran past her and Shinpachi slammed the tickets on the counter. The attendent watched as they sped through the terminal and shut the door when they were no longer in sight.

"Hey stop those guys!" The security guard yelled.

"I'm sorry sir, the plane is about to take off!"

"Yatta! we made it!"

* * *

_Hello this is your flight attendent. We are about to arrive in the capital city of Okinawa. The island is largely composed of coral rock, and rainwater. Okinawa is said to have the most beautiful beaches in all of Japan and..._

Shinpachi was asleep, Gintoki yawned and Kagura rubbed her growling tummy. "When do we eat?" Gintoki raised his hand to get the stewardist's attention. "Oi when do we eat! I want a chocolate parfait!"

"It would be my pleasure to serve you my love."

"Gah!"

Sa-chan appeared wearing a stewardist uniform carrying a bottle of wine. "Shall we toast to our undying love."

"As if!" Gintoki struggled to get out of his seatbelt and Sa-chan once again attached herself to him preventing him from getting up. Shinpachi woke up during the struggle."Wha! Sa-chan?!" Kagura and Gintoki tried to tear her off, eventually gaining the attention of everyone on the plane.

"Are you enjoying your flight my love."

"Iiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!"

* * *

Gintoki sat on one of the benches as he waited for Shinpachi and Kagura to retrieve their bags. He leaned his head on the back of the bench, eyes half closed as he struggled to stay awake. He almost fell asleep until her heard an obnoxious laughter.

"AHAHAHAAHAHA! You see I accidently walked into the ladies room."

Ginoki bent his neck furuther back to see an upside down view of what was going on behind him. He was surprised to see Sakamoto who was being interrogated by a policeman. Gintoki got up from the bench and headed towards him. Sakamoto turned away from the policeman and saw Giintoki.

"KINTOKI!" Sakamoto casually move passed the policeman and walked towards Gintoki. "KINTOKI IT"S SOO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!"

Gtinoki hit him one the head. "I told you it's Gintoki!"

"Gin-san we have the luggage. Oh, hey Sakamoto-san, what brings you here?" asked Shinpachi.

"Ahahahaha I was sent to deliver something and apparently the recipient lives in Okinawa."

"Hmm..delivering something?"

"Yep...ano.. the blue prints for an upgraded model of the PMR, or portable mini robot. It obeys any order. It's suppose to do other things too like play music and whatnot. Each robot has a personality of its own but most likely it will eventually take on the personality and behaviors of its owner." Sakamoto reached into his coat pocket and brought out a samll box."As thanks, the head creator gave me a prototype. It still has a few kinks to work out but other that it's fine. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Here I think you need it more than I do. Well it was nice talking to you and hopefully we will meet again soon my friend. AHAHAHAHAAHAHA! Sakamoto waved and left quickly.

Gintoki watched him leave with a bored expression and picked his nose. They all focused on the small box in his hand.

"What do you think he meant by small kinks?"

"Who knows.That idiot sure left in a hurry though and knowing him that can only mean something bad." Gintoki opened the box and inside was a small pink robot shaped like a sphere. They looked at it for a moment before Kagura took it out and began pressing buttons.

"How does it turn on?"

"Here are the instructions." Shinpachi sweatdropped as he tried to decipher the complicated instructions.

"Aha!" Kagura cheered when she found the ON button.

The robot hovered above the box for a few seconds before its buttons lit up, and its eyes opened revealing two black dots. Its arms detached themselves and hovered at its sides. "Hello users, I am your portable mini robot version 1.01, or PMR for short. What may I do for you?" The group leaned in and analyzed the robot.

"It talks."

"Yeah, What should we make him do?"

Gintoki reached into the folds of his kimono and took out an issue of Jump. "Read it."

"What kind of stupid request is that?"

"Who doesn't enjoy reading Jump?" The robot took the magazine from him and looked at it for a moment before ripping out the pages. "OI! OI! OI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID THING!" Gintoki tried to pull the magazine away from the robot. Kagura pumped up her fist as she cheered for Gintoki while he and the robot had a tug-o-war match. Shinpachi covered his face as people began to stop and stare.

"Malfunction! malfuction! WARNING WARNING" The robot produced electric currents causing all electronical devices in the terminal to shut on and off. People throughout the terminal stopped and panicked.

_"We are experiencing some techinical difficulties and we ask everyone to remain calm."_

"It was them. They are the cause of this!" A man pointed to the Yorozuya.

"Hey you!"

"Gin-san it's the police!" When Shinpachi turned around, he saw Gintoki and Kagura had already took off running.

"HEY WAIT FOR ME!"

The robot returned to normal and followed them. Gintoki grabbed the robot and shook it. "You stupid robot why don't you get us out of this if you're so helpful!" 'IM GOING TO KILL YOU SAKAMOTO!!

* * *

wow..really sorry about the long wait. Even I wasn't expecting it to take that long. Anyway I hope you enjoyed!  
thanx to all those who read and reviewed my story. i have decided to make this a HijiGin fic-yay it's so nice to see so much HxG luvin

Look foward to the next chapter of the ongoing insanity and Happy Holidays!!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: belongs to SH

enjoy!**

* * *

****A week later/ Okinawa Naha Airport**

Once again We find our heroes at the airport, slowly making their way to the terminal. Their starved faces matching their torn costumes.

"Never again. We shall never go to Okinawa again."

"Finally we get to go home."

"Gin-san, I'm sure the readers would like to know what happened during our trip."

"Huh? well it can be told later. At the end of the chapter."

"IT WOULD BE POINTLESS AFTER THAT!"

"Nag nag nag you know the time it takes author to type the complaints spouting out of your mouth could be used to explain what happened during our trip.

"Yeah cut out the straightman's time!", yelled Kagura

"OI!!

_RECAP_

_You see after the whole incident in the aiport most of the day was spent trying to escape the police. Disguises were necessary in order to travel around the city without being arrested._

_"WAIT WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR THE DRESS!!" Sinpachi wore a traditional kimono and a girl's wig, while Kagura and Gintoki wore yakuza outfits. Gintoki primped his hair to make sure the gel kept it in place. "How long do you think it took to get my hair like this. I don't understand how Kazuma could stand this every morning (Gintoki's hair resemles Kazuma Kuwabara from YU YU Hakasho). Hairdo's like this don't just happen. You have no right to complain."_

_"But why couldn't Kagura wear this!" Kagura turned towards him and raised her fists. "Oi weaklings should know there place."_

_Gintoki put on a pair of glasses and read from the book, Yakuza for dummies. Shinpachi you must apologize for your insolence and according to this you must cut off your finger as a form of penance._

_"OI! OI! YOU"RE NOT REAL YAKUZA!" Shinpachi sighed. We spent most of our money on these costumes, and we have yet to find a place to stay._

_"Excuse me. They turned to see a policeman running towards them. Have you seen these three around here". The policeman held up a wanted poster. They pointed in the a direction away from them and the police ran off after a quick thank you._

_Soon after, shinpachi was noticed by a okama, who owned a nearby pub short on staff. And so the yorozuza found themselves a job. shinpachi was placed as a waiter and Ginoki and Kagura were given the positions as body gaurds, but spent most of the time eating._

_"How do we end up in situations like these. We're suppose to be on vacation." Shinpachi headed to a table carrying several orders, but while in his thoughts, Shinpachi didn't notice the bottle of beer on the floor. "Aaaahhhh!" CRASH!_

_"Ow..."After Shinpachi recovered he got up ready to apologize to whoever he spilled food on. "Eh heh heh sorry about tha-aaa- AAAAAHHH!"_

_A large, burly man glared down at him, covered in rice, and sake. "You tiny wimp, prepare to have you face broken." The man shot out his fist but Shinpachi ducked just in time causing the man in front of him to punch the man behind him._

_"Hey watch it bastard."_

_"Who you calling a bastard. Take this!" Fists, chairs, and tables were thrown and it eventually escalated into a large fight involving everyone in the bar. Shinpachi crawled under the table searching for Gintoki and Kagura._

_"Where are those guys?" Shinpachi found Gintoki sitting at the bar drunk, mumbling about the woes of his life and kagura was in the fist fight performing wrestling moves._

_"OI!! Aren't you body guards shouldnt you be helping!!" A cloud of despair hovered over his head as he laid on the floor hoping the madness would pass over soon._

_About 20 minutes later they were thrown out of the bar and were once again unemployed. It was decided they would do their jobs as freelancers and work for tickets back to Tokyo._

_END RECAP/BACK IN TOKYO_

The yorozuya made it back home safely and were currently taking a much needed rest.

"Ah it's good to be home. Gin-san, I'm going home to tell my sister I'm back." Shinpachi said as he left.

"Bring back some toilet paper!"

* * *

"Oi Hijikata-san things have sure been quiet without the yorozuya around ne?" Okita asked, pulling Hijikata from his thougts.

"Hn" _'Ever since that idiot left I can't help but feel that something is missing._ _che, probably just hungry. I wish that stupid Yamazki would get some damn mayonaise like I ask.'_

"Ohayo Okita-san!, Hijikata-san!" They both turned to see Shinpachi heading their way.

"Yorozuya." Hijikata briefly acknowledged him wondering where the other two were but one in particular.

"How was your trip." asked Okita.

Once again a shadow of despair hung above Shinpachi as he summed up what happened.

Okita just smiled. "I'm glad you had fun."

Shinpachi sweatropped. 'What part of that did you consider fun.'

"Where are the other morons?"

Shinpachi looked at Hijikata suprised that he even cared. "Ano...they're probably sleeping."

"Hmm I see."

"Hijikata-san are you okay?"

"I'm afraid not. you see Hijikata-san is in denial about his taboo feelings for danna." Okita pointed to Hijikata who was staring at him with murderous eyes.

"OKITA!!" Hijikata unsheathed his sword preparing to kill.

"Tell danna I said hi." Okita said before running away.

"OKITA!! get back here!!" Hijikata took after him wildly swinging his sword.

Shinpachi stood there absorbing what he had just heard..."NANI!!"

* * *

"I'm back."

"Shinpachi did you bring the paper for the butt." Kagura asked.

"Hai hai, Gin-san I have something to tell you."

_KNOCK KNOCK_

"Huh? Shinpachi tell whoever that is that we're not taking any jobs today." Gintoki said as he flipped through the tv channels.

_KNOCK KNOCK_

"I'm coming. Shinpachi opened the door. Hello we're no-..." Shinpachi saw a lady in withered kimono holding a baby. "I'm sorry to intrude. Is this the do it all shop? I really need you're help."

"Shinpachi who's at the door?" Gintoki got up and went to the door.

Shinpachi turned to Gintoki and whispered, "Gin-san this lady looks like she really needs some help."

"That's for sure."

"Please I-I'll do anything. I don't have money right now but I can get it. I need you to take care of my son until I return." she held up her baby.

"NANI!"

"What do we look like a nanny service. We don't have time fo this."

"Lady, I guarantee you do not want us babysitting your child."

"Please. I'll pay as soon as I get the money. I just-"

"Fine."

"Nani!" Shinpachi leaned towards Gintoki and whispered. "Gin-san? How are we gonna take care of a kid when we can barely take care of ourselves."

"Don't worry I have a plan."

"Oh Thank you, thank you." The woman placed the baby in Shinpachi's arms and took off down the stiars. "

"Jeez, she was in a hurry. Anyway what is this plan of yours."

* * *

**3 minutes later**

"Baby sitter! Need a baby sitter willing to work for a bowl of rice!" The yorozuya stood in front of the shop. Kagura held up a sign and Gintoki held up the baby as he yelled.

"What the hell are you doing! We can't let a perfect stranger babysit this child, and what moron in their right mind would work for such a stup-"

"You need a babysi- ...Yorozuya?"

Hasegawa!!

* * *

Okita and Hijikata returned to the barracks aftering finishing their patrol.

"Hijikata-san have you heard. Many widows around here have been taken away from their homes. Rumors say they are being forced to work in the red light district in order to pay of their husbands debt. Kujyaku-hime kada runs most of the areas in kabuki town. However few areas, such as the red light district were placed under control for the first time. The higher ups gave the position to an amanto about two months ago. They say he is punishing the wives of the men who used to work for him. He lies about the amount of that they owe forcing them to work there longer."

"We cannot act based on rumors alone, besides corruption within kabuki town is not uncommon. I suggest that you don't get involved. If the shinsemgumi falls it will be on your hands."

"Are you concerned for me?"

"As if."

"Well as you say. I shall not get involved."

Hijikata glanced at Okita. "Hmm that was way too easy. What are you thinking?"

"Paranoia is a sign of insanity, Hijikata-san."

"Ah, so if I eliminate the source I should be okay right?"

* * *

In the end, our heroes were forced to babysit.

"WAAAAAAAH!"

"Kagura you can't feed a baby that!"

"But it's Sukonbu. He should eat some if he wants to grow up to be strong. Isn't that right baby, you don't want to be a wimp like four eyes here do you."

"OI!"

"WAAAAAAAAH!"

knock knock

"Hai hai im coming." Shinpachi opened the door and was surprised to see Okita.

_CLASH!_ Gintoki nearly toppled over in his chair trying to grab the pudding out of kagura's hands. "What are you doing giving away my last cup of pudding."

"But it's all we have."

"Did I come at a bad time," asked Okita.

Shinpachi shook his head and sighed. "Just come in. It's not going to get any better."

"Hm? Gintoki turned and saw Okita. What are you doing here?"

"Ohayo danna, I have a request."

"Oh? well if you haven't noticed we are trying to take care of our previous reqest. Besides there is no way I'd work for the Shinsengumi."

"Huh? why do you have a baby? Could it be a sign of bad karma after so many years of painful one night stands."

"What the hell are you talking about!!"

"A lady came and asked us to babysit, and pretty much left without an explanation." Shinpachi explained.

"Well I believe my request may help you."

"Huh?"

"There's been talk that widows around here have been taken away under false accusations, and are being forced to work in the red light district. This may be why this woman asked you to babysit."

"How unlike you to be so concerned Okita-san."

"Normally this situation would not be such a mjaor problem, but these rumors are disrupting order within the city and is therefore now my concern."

"Well even though he is a sadist, he is also a member of the Shinsengumi."

"But I don't understand why you need our help."

"I have said it before haven't I? That I admire your freedom? The shinsengumi cannot act without repercussions."

"So what is it you are asking us to do."

"To infiltrate the main house of the red light district, and find out whether these rumors are true."

"No way we're getting involved in this. This seems like way more trouble than it's worth," said Gintoki.

"But knowing this information can you really do nothing about it? Besides I'm prepared to pay for your services."

"And when do you expect to carry out this plan?" asked Gintoki suddenly very interested.

Shinpachi sweatdropped. _'It's all about the money when it comes down to it.'_

"I knew you were up to something." They all turned to see Hijikata.

"Hijikata-san?!"

"OI! you can't barge into someone's home, if you weren't the police I'd have you arrested. Kami, what is the world coming to." Gintoki glared at Hijikata.

"Listen whatever he just told you, forget about it. These matters do not concern you."

"Oh, and why is that the people it does concern will do nothing about it."

"If we do something the shinsengumi will fall. Come on Okita."

"Sayonara, Yorozuya."

* * *

That night...

"I'm back. Onee-san said she would come over tomorrow to help babysit. Oi Kagura where's Gin-san." Shinpachi looked around the room.

"Beats me. He left this afternoon saying to stay here and watch the baby. Hasn't come back since. That loafer leaving me to do all the work while he's out having fun.

"Hmm I hope he's not doing anything stupid."

* * *

**Kabuki town/Red light district**

My name is Paako. Please treat me kindly. Gintoki kneeled before the head of the red light district.

"Quite a beauty we have here sir. Just look at this silky hair."

"Hmm, she seems quite suspicious. We rarely get any volunteers. What is you're story?"

"Aah my husband was caught in a conveyor belt at his job. Although I'm willing to keep his ashes in a cup, I hear my daughter cry in her sleep, daddy no, I was so thirsty and forgot your ashes were in the cup. How can I call myself a mother if I were to let the the ashes of my husband lie in my daugter's stomach. So I am working to pay for a proper funeral."

"WHAT KINDA STORY IS THAT! Jeez nevermind. Saiyu!!"

A young girl entered he room. "Yes sir."

"This is Saiyu. If you should need anything ask her. She shall direct you to your lessons."

"Come this way please." Saiyu led Gintoki out of the room and down a hall.

"I'm Saiyu Hakashi but you can call me Sai. If you should have any questions feel free to ask. I haven't been here long either so I know how it feels but don't worry, you'll find you're way around here soon enough. What is your name?"

"Paako."

"ha ha, that's a funny name."

"What are these lessons."

"Ano, Onee-san is the one who teaches the lessons. She teaches proper ways of serving tea, playing shamisen, dancing and other things as well. Saiyu turned around in time to see Gintoki's contorted face of despair. She swiftly turned around to try and hide the giggles threatening to burst. "But don't worry Paako-chan it'll go by fast. This is the main house. The man you just talked to, his name is Maito Wajong. He runs certain areas in Kabuki town, but is mostly known for his influence in the Red light district. Onee-san says he's a very powerful man."

"Sounds like a pervert to me."

"Ha ha, he stays in the main house from time to time. We're currently on the 4th floor. Every room on this floor pretty much belongs to him. All newcomers are to report to the main house for an introduction and then sent to another brothel in this area. Select few are chosen to stay here based on their beauty or talent. The third floor is where our rooms are and the scond and first floor are where we serve our customers. This buidling connects to a smaller one in which we are given our lessons. This bridge should take us there right away. If you every have some free time feel free to check out the gardens around here, they are very beautiful.

"Is it true that the women around here are putting more time in than they have to."

"We are not allowed to talk of such things." Gintoki didn't fail to miss the deep sadness that laced her voice.

"Well here we are." Sai and Gintoki entered the room. "Onee-san this is Paako, the new arrival."

"Hmm she seems to lack basic manners", refering to the large yawn Gintoki gave as he stood at the door. Saiya giggled but was immediately silenced when the teacher glared at her."I leave her in your care Onee-san." Saiya bowed in apology and quickly left."

"Paako, please stand here and introduce yourself."

"Konichiwa, my name is Paako. Ano, my hobby is eating sweets, reading Shonen Jump, and skills include sleeping with my eyes open."

"The class giggled and the teacher glared at him. "That's enough, please sit down. Okay today we will cover many things. Now, when serving all our customers we must remember our number one priority..."

_'Blah blah blah' when do we eat. Tomorrow the next issue of Shojo Beat comes out. Naruto is already at chapter 300, when is it going to end Kishimoto. I hope this lesson is over soon. Is this story destined to become neverending as well? AAAHHHHHH. No no I'm sure the author will be tired soon. Man my legs hurt sitting like this.'_

"Paako-chan are you listening."

"Hai, hai"

"Then why don't you come here and and demonstrate how to properly play the shamisen while citing a haiku.

"Hai, hai"

Gintoki grabbed the intsrument and sat down in front of the class. The headmaster was annoyed by the nonchalant expresion on his face.

_thum thum thum thum_

"control your lose man

rope him by his smelly feet

Ano...

the scent of curry"

_thum thum_

The class bursted into laughter.

PAAKO!!

* * *

**Several hours later**

Gintoki dragged his feet to his room, "If I have to learn one more step im going to commit senpukku. Ugh my throat hurts. Being a girl is hard work, and I thought Hibiki was just a joke (reference to Hibiki Amawa in I My Me! strawberry Eggs). That bastard Sougo. He better treat me to a parfait everyday for the rest of his life."

Once in his room, Gintoki collapsed to the floor. He almost fell asleep until he heard voices whispering in the hall. He crawled to the door and listened.

"Maito-san wants to have a meeting in 45 minutes. He says it's about- wait someone's coming!"

Gintoki heard someone stop in front of his door but before he could move out of the way the door opened causing him to crash on the floor. "Paako-chan! Are you okay?! what are you doing on the floor and why are you still in this kimono. You have to get ready. Everbody's already downstairs. There are cusomers."

"Why can't cant someone else deal with them."

"You have to make a good first impression. Come come let me change you, I picked out a really nice kimono."

"Iie! I can do it myself." Not planning on having his secret discovered so soon, Gintoki quickly volunteered silently thanking Otose for teaching him before he came.

"That's what they all say, but these things are a lot more complicated than they look."

"I got it."

"Okay but be down soon."

"That bastard Sougo will be treating me in his afterlife as well."

* * *

"Right this way sir. We have a wide selection who are very talented. This is you're room. I shall have someone attend to you in a moment."

Saiya ran down the hall preparing to go upstairs and get Gintoki. "Oh Paako-chan there you are. I found a good one for you. He's really handsome. Now I know this is your frst time but here are some tips. The trick to to play innocent and... Gintoki tuned her out as he went through his escape plan.

"Here we are. Good luck." Saiya opened the door and led Gintoki into the room. "I'm sorry for your wait, here she is."

Gintoki bowed. " I am at your service."

"YOU!"

Gintoki looked up to see none other than the Hijikata, sitting in behind a low table wearing a summer yukata. "ACK!"

"Do you two know eachother."

"Unfortunately."

The lady looked between the Gintoki and the irratated vice commander. "Ano, should I request someone different."

Hijikata took out a cigarette and sighed. "This is fine."

"Thank you" Saiya bowed and left.

"Bastard. What are you doing here?" Hijikata asked.

"Serving my country of course."

"I told you to stay out of it. We don't need help from a moron like you."

"tch so ungrateful." Gintoki plopped down on the ground and splayed out on the floor.

"Oi get over here and serve me some tea."

"Serve it yourself."

Hijikata was about to get up and pummel him until he got and idea. "Heh I should have known an idiot like you couldn't do this job, let alone serve a cup of tea. He smirked when he noticed gintoki twitch. "Perm heads such as you can barely accomplish simple tasks."

"What was that you bastard. Give me the stupid tea pot." Gintoki stared intently at the tea as it poured into the cup. Once he was finished Hijikata brought the cup to his lips after sending him a smug smirk. Hijikata was just about to take a sip until.." AAAAAHHH!"

Gintoki watched nonchalantly and he poured the rest of the tea into his lap.

"You bastard!!" Hijikata grabbed the collar of his kimono, bringing his face about an inch away from his. "I'll kill you!!"

"Okaaa-san it's so sad, this grown man wet himself."

"DIE!!"

"Calm down, listen I have to tell you the head-dude, Maijo-something is having a meeting in about...Gintoki looked at the watch on Hijikata's wrist... 15 minutes somewhere on the 4th floor and...

Hijikata knew he should be paying attention but being so close to this man had unwanted effects on him.

"Hey are you listening?"

"No."

"No, what the hell do you mean no!"

"Hijikata placed a hand on Gintoki's chest and gently guided him towards the wall behind him. He placed his other arm next to his head trapping him in between himself and the wall. Hijikata leaned in and let his head fall in the crook of his neck.

"OI!"

"You know this little trip here didn't come free. The idiot Okita had to act on his own again and so this little escapade is coming out of my own wallet."

"Well that's too bad for you but-_mph_"

Gintoki tensed when he felt a pair of lips on his own. It was a light kiss, lasting only for a minute before Hijikata pulled away watching his reaction through half-lidded eyes.

"wha-"

"I want what I paid for."

"But you can't just-

Hijikata dived in for another kiss. He nibbled on his bottom lip causing Gtinoki to tighten his grip on his yukata. He slowly began to relax as hijikata's other hand played with his hair. Taking the oportuinty Hijikata slipped his tongue through his lips and explored his mouth. Hijikata mentally laughed when he found that his mouth tasted sweet. Gintoki closed his eyes and started to respond a little. "mmnn" After a moment he broke away for air.

Hijikata smirked. "Coming up for air."

"Shut up!"

Hijikata lowered his head and attached to his neck leaving a trail of kisses.

"aah wa-wait." Gintoki tangled his hand in his hair in a half-heart attempt to pull him away.

"ha ha. You'll have to pull harder than that if you want me to stop." Hijikta pulled away and looked at Gintoki's vunerable expression. It's rare to see you in such a state, no stupid comebacks spouting out of your mouth. Hijikata kissed him on the forehead before pulling away completely.

"Come on, we have to go. 4th floor was it?"

"What! Did you hear anything else I said!"

"Kami knows what Okita is doing."

"OI! Are you listening?"

Hijikata looked up at Gintoki and smirked. " We can continue this later."

"HEY DON"T GURANTEE THAT!"

"This is no time for you to babble. Come on."

"Bastard."

* * *

Hope u liked. I tried to make the job sound as convincing as possible. If anything doesn't make sense feel free to ask, but this is gintama so nothing really needs to make sense. I hope i satisfied those lookin for more hijigin luvin- more to come of course! stayed tuned for the next chapter!!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: belongs to SH

Last chapter!! Enjoy!

* * *

Hijikata and Gintoki cautiously went out into the hallway and looked around.

"I guess everyone's already upstairs," Gintoki said.

"Paako!" Both of them jumped when they heard the voice. They turned and saw Saiya running towards them.

"Paako what are you doing out in the hall?" She turned to Hijikata. "Don't tell me it didn't work out."

Hijikata turned to Gintoki and gave him a questioning look. "Paako?"

Gintoki quickly changed the subject. "Saiya, you have to go and tell all the women to leave the house."

"Wha?! why what's going on?"

"We really don't have time to explain."

Siaya hesitated for a moment. "Okay, but promise to tell me what's going on later." Siaya left quickly to do what Gintoki said.

Gintoki looked around avoiding Hijikata's questioning stare. "Ah look there's the stairs," Gintoki said pointing to the stairs at the end of the hall.

"Don't avoid my question. How did you come up with Paako?"

"Ah its a long story."

Once they reached the 4th floor they stopped in the doorway to look around. "Well it looks clear, but we should still be cautious - hey wait!" Hijikata called after Gintoki who had already begun walking around in the halls. Hijikata left the doorway and followed Gintoki who had disappeared around a corner. He stopped when he saw Okita standing at the end of the hall in front of a large door, holding a bazooka.

Gintoki glanced at Hijikata and pointed to the door. "Oi, you don't think that would be the the meeting room do you...?

"What is that idiot doing?!"

Okita lifted up the bazooka and blew off the door. _BOOM!_

"SOUGO!!"

Sougo turned around. "Oh, there you are Hijkata-san." Okita looked at Gintoki and noticed his attire. "Danna is that you? Did u lose a bet?"

"Shut up! If you were going to come then why the hell do I need to be here?!"

The dust cleared and the men inside the room recovered from the explosion. "Boss, look it was them!"

Maito looked at the intruders. "Who are you? How dare you interefere with my private bussiness?"

"We are the Shinsengumiand we're here to tear down this crooked business you're running", yelled Hijikata.

"Haha how do you plan to stop me with just the two of you? Heh, no matter. You have already come too late. My influence has spread too far. Soon I shall have control over the entire district. " He turned to Gintoki. "Paako?! Don't tell me you were also involved? I knew there was something suspicious about you."

"Ah no I was just looking for the restroom, but this is obviously not the right way. Ja." Gintoki waved and prepared to leave. Hijikata grabbed his collar and pulled him back. "Where do you think you're going?!"

"Aaahh help me boss he's taking me hostage." Gintoki said in a girly voice. Hijikata smacked him on the head.

"I don't have time to deal with these fools. Take care of them!", Maito ordered his men.

"Ha ha yes boss. Prepare to die!,"the men yelled before they charging towards them. Hijikata, Okita and Gintoki held off the oncoming attacks but while they were fighting, Maito was escorted away by one of his guards.

"Dammit he's escaping!" Hijikata growled as he blocked an attack. Gintoki pushed away another guy before he swiftly turned around and jumped on Hijikata's head. "Ow! What the hell are you doing!" Gintoki used his head to jump out of the crowd of men and chase after Maito.

"Kami, how can women run in this thing?" Gintoki stopped and shedded his kimono leaving him in only his boxers. He continued his chase and had thought he lost him until he caught glimpse of Maito's kimono disappearing around the corner. He followed it around the corner, but the hall was empty . _'Where did he go?' _Gintoki saw a door on the left side of the hall and inside were stairs leading to the roof of the building. When he reached the top, he looked around and saw Maito and his escort standing next to him on the other side of the roof.

"It seems you have found me. But don't think it's over." He turned to the mysterious person at his side. "Naomi." The woman stepped foward and took off her mask.

"Onee-san?"

"Hello Paako. Ha ha don't tell me you didn't expect me at all. Ha, well it's not totally you're fault, after all I was trained as a gesiha before I became what I am. Proper manners have been engraved into my soul, and it is respectful to introduce oneself before anything else. My name is Naomi. I am a skilled assassin of the Hato clan. I bet you're wondering how I came to work for Maito-san, but that's not important, especially for someone who's about to die. How embarrasing it must be to face me in you undergarments."

"Embarrasing?" Gintoki finished picking his nose and raised his wooden sword. "You are mistaken. I have been reborn. Prepare to face my dying will."(note: reference to Tsuna in KHR).

"You certainly are a strange one. But enought talk. DIE." Naomi slipped into a stance and propelled foward. She pulled out a kunai aimed for Gintoki's heart.

Gintoki was surprised by her speed but manged to parry her attack with his sword. "Oi , Onee-san you move pretty fast for an old women."

Naomi smirked and flipped backwards creating distance between Gintoki and herself. This time Gintoki charged first holding his wooden sword low preparing preparing to perform an upward slash. Naomi dogded and flipped backwards avioding Gintoki's oncoming attacks. She grabbed his shoulders and used them to flip behind him. Gintoki swiftly turned around and sent a painful kick into her stomach just before she landed on her feet. As she flew threw the air, she managed to throw several kunai at him. Gintoki blocked them with his sword and continued running towards her but was stopped by the strings attatched to them. Kaomi recovered and smirked. "Ha ha do not underestimate me. These strings were made personally by me and are practically unbreakable. There's no way you'll be able to move now."

Gintoki looked up at her and grinned.

"Wha-?" Before she could say aything else, Gintoki grabbed firm hold of the strings and pulled her foward. Naomi sailed towards him and when she was in reach, Gintoki used the hilt of his sword to knock her out. _Thump! _Gintoki watched as she fell to the ground, unconcious. The srings became loose, and Gintoki pulled them off. He turned around and saw Maito looking at Naomi's fallen body in surprise. Maito looked at Gintoki as he walked towards him.

_'Oh no! No! How can it end like this. No wait, I might be able to use him.'_ Gintoki stopped when he saw Maito's expression turn from frightened to smug.

"Heh heh you are skilled. Join me and together we shall take control of this pitiful town."

"Sorry boss, it may be a pitiful town." Gintoki lifted up his sword. "But I can't afford rent anywhere else!" Gintoki attacked the cowering man and knocked him out.

"Hmmm." Gintoki looked at himself and then looked at Maito's clothes with a gleam in his eye.

* * *

Gintoki exited the building and saw a bunch of women surrounding Hijikata and Okita.

"Is it true, can we really go home?!", one of the ladies asked.

Hijikata lit a cigarette before answering. "Hai."

The women cheered. "Thank you handsome strangers!"

_'Those bastards are getting all the praise while I'm doing all the fighting.'_

"Paako!" Gintoki turned and saw Sai coming towards him. "Paako, did you hear, those guys say we can go home! Can you believe it? Maito-san was defeated!"

"Uh yeah, isn't that great!" Gintoki said pretending to be excited._ "Yeah I'm the one who did it. I better be getting paid.'_

Sai looked at him for a moment. "It was you wasn't it?"

Gintoki snapped out of his thoughts. "Huh?"

"Ha ha I knew there was something odd about you. And I'm really glad I was right." Sai pointed to Hijikata and whispered, "So is that guy over there your lover."

Gintoki blushed and turned away. "As if I'd have anything to do with that bastard!"

Siaya giggled. "Well thank you for savng us. Ya know, my husband died a long time ago and I'm not really sure what to do with myself. But ever since I was a kid, I've always wanted to open my own tea shop. So maybe I'll try that, ha ha." Unseen by Saiya, Gintoki sent her a small smile.

"Hijkata!" Hijikata looked up and saw Yamazaki.

"Yamazaki, what took you so long?!" Hijikata asked, glaring at him.

"I'm sorry! I tried to leave as soon as I got your call but none of the police cars were available so I took the first thing I could find on the way here." Yamazaki pointed to the bike on the side.

"A bike?! Where the hell are we suppose to go with this?!

"Please captain! I didn't know what else to do. I panicked!" Yamazaki attempted to run away but Hijikat grabbed him by his collar. Hijikata was about to pummel him, but quickly let go and turned around he heard Gintoki yelling about something. Yamazaki took this time to run away while his captain was distracted. Hijikata saw Gintoki pouting and Saiya trying to cover up her giggles. _'What are they doing over there?__," _Hijkata thought as he walked over towards them.

Saiya saw Hijikata walking over and greeted him. "Hello Hijikata-san. Thank you for for all you have done."

"Hn." He looked at Gintoki. "So I take it you took care of him."

"Yes I did." Gintoki took out a piece of paper and scribbled something down. "I'm going home, so I want you to transfer my payment to this account." Gintoki pointed to number on the paper.

"I told you I spent all my money on this job!" Hijikata's face quickly changed from angry to smug. "And I still didn't get my money's worth."

Gintoki glared at him and turned away quickly to hide his blush. _'That bastard when did he become so cheeky.'_

Sai smiled and watched the scene in silence. _'Kyaaa they're so cute!' _

Hijikata sighed and turned around. "Okita we should report back soon-" Hijikata looked around and noticed Okita was gone. His phone rang.

"Hello."

"Hijikata-san, while you were talking I took the liberty of getting a head start."

"WHAT!!" Hijikata looked around and noticed the bike was missing too. _'That bastard!'_

"Don't worry though I'll make sure to explain your unfortunate accident to Kondou. Ja." Before Hijikata could say anything Okita hung up. _'I'm going to kill him! Great now I'm stuck with Yamazaki. Wait where the heck is he?!'_

* * *

"I suggest you petal faster or else I'll miss my soap." Okita said calmly as he rode on the bike seat while Yamazaki petaled. A shadow of despair hovered above Yamazaki's head. _'Why me. '_

* * *

"Well Paako this is goodbye. I hope to see you around town sometime." Saiya waved and walked away. Gintoki watched her leave before going to retrieve his scooter. He went around to the side of the building and dragged out his scooter. He looked up at Hijikata who was still fuming.

Hijikata jolted out of his thoughts when he heard Gintoki start his motocycle. "You had that the whole time?!"

"Yep, well see you later Hijikata-bastard." Gintoki put on his helmet.

"You can't just leave me here!"

"Mmhm." Gintoki ignored him as he started his scooter. Hijikata chased after him as Gintoki slowly cruised along the street. Before he could speed up, Hijikata grabbed the back of his scooter and lept on the seat. Hijikata's unexpected jump caused Gintoki to momentarily lose control of the scooter.

"Oi oi! You trying to kill me. "

"You're the one whose trying to kill me!!"

"Whatever. I suggest you hold on, cause I'm not coming back for you if you fall off."

Hijikata wrapped his arms around his waist and welcomed the sudden warmth that he felt.

Gintoki felt his cheeks warm up due to the close contact. "Oi!" The warmth spread further when Hijikata nuzzled the back of his neck. "Don't think that just caused you forced yourself on me, that I'm gonna magically fall in love with you. Crap like that only happens in shojo."

"Mmmm." Hijikata ignored Gintoki as he took in his sweet smell.

"Cause it's gonna take a lifetime supply of parfaits in order to fix this. You better be prepared to treat me for the rest of your life."

Hijikata was strangely happy with this suggestion and kissed the back of his neck, causing Gintoki to swirve a little.

"Stop it will you!" _'Or you really will kill me'_ The sweet smell lulled Hijikata to sleep, and he eventually fell asleep with dreams of his own Gintoki parfait.

"Oi are you awake?" He turned around and his eyes softened when he saw his sleeping face.

_'I guess taking this job wasn't a complete mistake.' _

* * *

Gintoki entered his home and found Kagura and Shinpachi asleep on the couch. Shinpachi woke up when he heard the door shut.

"Gin-san where have you been. You've been gone all day and why are you wearing those clothes."

"Long story."

"Yeah well that lady came to pick up her baby. She said she was saved by a pair of handsome strangers. Whatever that means."

"I'm going to sleep," Gintoki said as he yawned. "See you tomorrow." Gintoki headed to his room and closed the door.

Shinpachi sweatdropped. "I wonder what happened to him."

* * *

The next morning...

_knock knock_

"Mmmn, Shinpachi get the door," Kagura drawled as she turned over preparing to go back to sleep.

"Why do I have to get it", Shinpachi said also half awake.

"Cause that's what your character's for. "

"What!"

_knock knock_

"Hai hai."Shinpachi dragged himself up to get the door. _'Why do I put up with these lazy people.'_ Shinpachi opened the door and was surprised to see Hijikata. "Hijikata-san!? What are you going here?"

"I asked for a day off. Where's permhead."

"He's sleeping." Shinpachi said as he pointed at Gintoki's door.

Hijikata walked past Shinpachi and went into the room, letting the door fall shut behind him. Shinpachi immediately heard yelling and crashing for several moments and then everything went silent except for the sound of Kagura's light snores. Shinpachi stared at Gintoki's door and jumped when Hijikata suddenly busted out of the room dragging Gintoki along with him.

"Oi! Let go of me!"

Shinpachi watched in suprise as Gintoki was being dragged out of the house. Gintoki grabbed the edge of the doorway in a last attempt to get free. "Shinpachi help me!! Don't just stand there. I'm being kidnapped! KIDNAPPED!"

Shinpachi gave him a blank stare and waved. Gintoki's grip slipped and he was successfully dragged out of the house. "SHINPACHI!!"

"Well looks like we have a day off."

Hijikata led Gintoki down the stairs. "What are you doing bastard?! You may be the police but don't think you can do whatever the hell you want!! Gintoki yelled as he snatched his arm away. Hijikata lit a cigarette and looked at Gintoki who was pouting and rubbing his sore arm.

"Do you not remember what you said?", asked Hijikata.

"What could I have possibly have said that would make you barge into my home and kidnap me?"

"You said I could treat you to a parfait."

Gintoki gave him a blank stare and Hijikata was getting a bit agitated. "When we left...after the battle."

Gintoki's eyes widened as he suddenly remembered what he said after they left had left...'_ Cause it's gonna take a lifetime supply of parfaits in order to fix this. You better be prepared to treat me for the rest of your life.'_

While Gintoki was lost in his thoughts, Hijikata grabbed his arm and dragged him to the shop.

* * *

Shiny sparkles of happiness surrounded Gintoki as he devoured his parfait. "You know you didn't have to drag me here," Gintoki said in a much lighter mood. "You could be a little more sociable."

A large vein appeared as Hijikata struggled to keep his temper in check. "You were the one who was so against coming," he said as he squirted mayonnaise on his rice.

Gintoki pointed at Hijikata's plate with his spoon. "Can you eat that dog food somewhere else. It's making me loose my appetite."

Hijikata ignored him and kept pouring. "It's not dog food, it's the Hijikata special."

Gintoki covered his mouth with one hand as if he was about to vomit and reached across the table with his other to grab Hijikata's arm. Hijikata stopped pouring the mayonnaise and glared at Gintoki.

"Let go."

"I will as soon as you stop pouring that crap."

Hijikata gripped the bottle tighter, and tried to realease his arm from Gintoki's hand. Gintoki refused to let go and tried to pull Hijikata's arm away from the plate. Hijikata got fed up and yanked his arm out of Gintoki iron grip. "I said let go!" When he pulled his arm away, Hijikata squeezed the bottle too hard and the mayo splattered all over the table.

"Aah!" Gintoki opened his eyes and looked at the damage. "You bastard you got that stuff all over me!" Gintoki reached for a napkin but was stopped when Hijikata grabbed his arm. Gintoki looked up at him with questioning eyes. Hijikata leaned over the table, and grabbed Gintoki's chin bringing him closer. Gintoki became nervous at the close proximity. "Uh..Hijikata?"Hijikata watched Gintoki's reaction with lustful eyes as he licked the mayo off his cheek. Once he was done, he let go of his chin and leaned back his seat. Gintoki face resembled a tomato as he stared at his empty parfait glass as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

"Come on let's go." Hijikata said as he got up from his seat and headed towards the door. Gintoki stared at the floor as he followed Hijikata out of the shop. Once they were outside the shop Hijikata glanced back at Gintoki. _'Why is he still moping?'_ Hijikata sighed and stopped walking. Gintoki was jolted at of his thoughts when he saw a hand in front of him. He looked up and saw Hijikata offering his hand to him. Gintoki was about to question him until he noticed the light blush on Hijikata's cheeks.

Gintoki hid the smile on his face before taking his hand. "Heh, you really can't do anything by yourself."

"Shut up!" Hijikata said pretending to be angry but also hid a small smile on his face. "Come on." Hijikata pulled Gintoki's hand urging him to go faster.

"Wait! slow down!" When Gintoki overcame his shock, he noticed that they were going the wrong way. "Oi, my house is the other way."

"What are you talking about. We still have the whole day."

"Wha?!"

"Come on." Hijikata pulled him down along as they ran down the street hand in hand.

* * *

That afternoon...

"KYAHOO!" Kagura yelled, repeating after Johnny on the shopping channel.

"I'm back." Shinpachi entered the living room and looked around. "Huh? Gin-chan's not back yet. How are we suppose to do the closing comments for the last chapter."

"Ha! It's time for Kagura to make her last shining debut! Don't worry Shinpachi I can fill in for Gin-chan!"

Kagura leaned back on the couch and picked her nose. " Oi, go get me some strawberry milk four eyes."

Shinpachi sweatdropped. "Anyway, we'd like thank the viewers for reading this story and we hope you'll continue watching Gintama." Shinpachi turned around. "Kagura-chan is there anything you'd like to say- huh?"Shinpachi looked around the living room but didn't see Kagura.

"Kagura-chan?!", Shinpachi called out.

"Shinpachi, do you know where Gin-chan stores his pudding?!"

Shinpachi heard the voice coming from the kitchen. "WHAT DID YOU DO!" Shinpachi entered the kitchen and saw food containers lying everywhere and all the empty cabinets doors were opened.

"I was trying to find something sweet. If I'm going to be Gin-chan, I have to have something sweet. Do you know where he keeps his pudding?"

Shinpachi dragged Kagura back to the living room. "It''ll be easier if you just be yourself."

"How can you say that. Gin-chan would be sad if we did this without him. If we're going to do this, we have to do it right." Kagura said as she headed back to the kitchen.

"Oi! When did you become so gunho about this. Besides We have to finish this!" Shinpachi grabbed her collar and pulled her back.

"Let me go!"

"Come on!"

"Iie!"

"Oi what are you guys doing. How could you just let your precious Gin-chan be taken away." Kagura and Shinpachi stopped fighting and looked up to see Gintoki.

"Gin-chan!"

"Gin-san, we're glad you're here. We were saying bye to the readers since the story is over and-

"WAIT A MINUTE! HOW CAN IT BE OVER ALREADY!! AND WHY ARE U TWO THE ONES ENDING IT!! I"M THE MAIN CHARACTER DAMMIT! Iie. Iie. Iie. There's still a whole bunch things that need to be covered before this story can end. STOP BEING A LAZY AUTHOR MANGA-CHAN! and shame on you readers for settling for such a bad ending!"

"GIN-SAN stop bashing the readers or we'll be boiled in flames!!

"Don't worry Shinpachi-kun, we'll just use those flames to heat tonight's dinner. We'll have to get something expensive to celebrate."

"KYAHOO!" Kagura cheered.

_'Why are these people so simple minded?'_

Gintoki brought in a large dry erase board and turned to Shinpachi and Kagura. On this board are questions that need to be covered:

"Gin-san this isn't really necessary."

"What are you talking about? It's only fair that I, the main character, have the last say. Now onto the 1st question", Gintoki started as he pointed to the board.

Question #1: Why were certain characters left out of the story?

"Gah! This is becoming troublesome already. Listen, it's best we just discuss major characters."

"Gin-san if we're really going to be doing this. We should warn the readers that there may be spoilers.

Gintoki scribbled something on the board: WARNING! MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR SOME...IF THAT'S THE CASE GO WATCH MORE GINTAMA!!

"OI!" Gintoki ignored Shinpachi and continued. "Okay first character...Zenzo Hattori?!" Isn't this that ninja who keeps all his problems in is ass. This bastard stole my Jump, he doesn't deserve to show his face."

"WHAT KIND OF REASON IS THAT!"

"Next person. Hmm...Prince Hata? Who is he?"

Um I think he's that animal loving prince, Shinpachi said.

"HIM! just because he appears more than once, doesn't make him a major character." Gintoki looked at the next name. "Musashi?! Who are these people?"

Shinpachi rubbed the back of his head. "Ah, I think he's that homeless man who wears those large swirly glasses..you know..and an orange cap without pants. He usually just randomly appears.

"Wha? Then why is he even on the board?... Kami, who's next?"...The Kiheitai, a.k.a Takasugi's and co. Hmm, well as you may have saw during the Benizakura arc these guys bring nothing but angst, which doesn't fit in Gintama.

Kagura raised her hand. "But Gin-san, viewers like to watch the super cool fight scenes during these arcs."

"Enough of this. If a character was not in this story it's because he wasn't important or was forgotten, which would only prove that they are not a major character because Gin-chan has the memory of an elephant. Now onto the next question."

Question #2: Why didn't Hijikata and Gintoki go all the way?

"WHAT!"

Shinachi stepped in. "The reason for this is because the story's rating would raise to Mature and-

"Gin-chan, Gin-chan look I found the missing chapter!" Kagura held up a crumbled piece of paper:

_Nyaa toshi...stop_

_Hijikata looked up and smirked when he saw Gintoki's flushed face and swollen lips. He continued to explore the moist body beneath him, going lower and lower until he reached his..._

"Kagura nooo the rating!" Shinpachi tried to grab the paper from her hands but Kagura held it just out of his reach. Gin-chan stepped in and snatched the piece of paper away. He took out a blowtorch and burned it.

Shinpachi sweatdropped. "That was a little much."

"The reason I did not allow that bastard to go all the way is because Gin'chan's naked body would be too much for readers handle." Both Kagura and Shinpachi pummeled Gintoki. Once they were done Shinpachi read the next question. "Hmm let's see..."

Question # 3: Why was Shinpachi so lame in this story?

"OI!"

Kagura stepped in."Every story must have a Shinpachi in it in order to make other characters look good."

"MOVING ON!" Shinpachi read the next question.

Question #4 Why didn't Katsura appear more in this story?!

"Wha? who cares about that guy," said Gintoki. "Next question."

"Oi! You're the one who said we needed to do this. What's the point if we just skip every question."

"Shinpachi is right Gintoki. You should answer these questions more seriously." Gintoki, Kagura and Shinpachi turned around and saw Katsura and Elizabeth sitting on the couch drinking tea. _'How long has he been sitting there?'_

"Let me explain. The real reason I, Katsura, did not appear again after the festival, is because while the Yorozuya were fighting I was also taking part in my own little adventure of my own. Check it out during this flashback-"

"OI! NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LAME STORIES! Get out of here and take that white thing with you too, Gintoki yelled as he pointed at Elizabeth.

"It's not 'white thing', it's Elizabeth!"

"Whatever. I don't know what you see in that thing. He's really freaky if you ask me."

"Gin-chan look he doesn't blink." Katsura turned around and saw Kagura poking him in the eye, and Elizabeth held up a sign that read: Help me.

"Elizabeth!!"

'This is never getting finished," sighed Shinpachi.

10 MINUTES LATER

After Gintoki kicked Katsura out of the house he returned to the questions.  
"This is getting crazy. Let's just jump to the last question. Gin-chan skimmed to the last question and read it to himself. Gin-san scratched it out and rewrote a new question.

Question number # 5: Why is Gin-chan so cool?

"You can't just write whaever you want up there!!" Shinpachi sighed. "Let's just end this." Shinpachi turned around and saw Kagura and Gintoki writing on the board: THANX FOR READING A HINT OF SUGAR, SPICE, AND RICE...JOHNNY FORVER!!

Gintoki smacked Kagura on the head. "Who the hell Johnny?! It's suppose to be Gintama!!"

"You guys!", yelled Shinpachi.

"Oh yeah."

"Thanks for reading everyone!"

* * *

I've decided this was going to be the last chapter TvT. sincere thanx to those who stayed through this for so long and I hope you enjoyed my story!! GINTAMA FOREVER!!


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